Help for Healthy Grieving

It is natural to wake up and look forward to your day, rather than be in dread. There is such a thing as healthy grieving, but grief that debilitates and extends over a long period time needs to be addressed deeply. A Grief Coach is trained and experienced to aid individuals specifically. This blog offers ideas, insights, and questions that will definitely help, but seek one-on-one sessions for best progress and results.

Consider turning grieving into something meaningful that honors or that would please a loved one who has passed on. Think of the good you could accomplish with focus, motivation, and energy. Are you ready to ease the pain and embark on some positive changes? Doing so does not mean you love less -- it may, in fact, indicate an increase of love.

The questions are, what would your loved one have you do? What would be pleasing? Most importantly, above all else, what would God have you do? What would be most pleasing to Him? May I recommend that you simply ask in prayer with an honest and open heart? It's good to do this right before going to sleep at night. Often you will awaken with some kind of answer or intuition, or it will suddenly occur to you during the day.

Grieving does not only belong to those who have had loved ones pass on, it accompanies many other events in life. We grieve loss of independence, loss of a job, loss of a home, loss of "face" or reputation, predicaments our children have gotten into, and more. But the DNA of our Spirit is resilient and kicks in at some point to rescue and relieve, to lift us up and cause us to move forward.

Grief is not felt in isolation either. Everyone involved feels it to some extent. It is best to deliberately work through the process, and ongoing support is a must. Know that I am here for you, even if only in blog. However, our Father, infinite Love is truly present with you, around you, and through you, every moment for all of eternity. The Scriptures say, "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you" (James 4:8).

Expand Your Comfort Zone

How big is your comfort zone? You might think of this "zone" as a circle around yourself. Within the perimeter are all the things that you are most comfortable with, things you are most used to, or things of which you have most expertise. When something comes to your experience that is outside of your comfort zone, it can cause some degree of stress, from slight discomfort to downright dread, fear, or trepidation. In grief coaching, this uncomfortable thing is usually due to a loss, either of a loved one, someone that was depended upon in some way, or loss of a home, business, or relationship damage. Any change at all will cause stress -- but the huge changes -- like when my husband of many years passed away and I found myself alone -- hit like a tidal wave that smashes in all around that comfort zone perimeter. Jesus said that the "winds and waves" would come and "beat on [the] house" -- things will happen that are difficult and force change. In Hebrew literature, "house" means "consciousness," so these are things that occur which beat in on our consciousness. The "house" that "does not fall" is the one "built on the rock." This rock is Christ, and Christ Jesus illustrates our true dominion in every situation, shows our capabilities through oneness with the Father, Love, to stand strong like a rock through adversity. You do not stand by yourself through human endeavor, but you stand supported and impervious through oneness with God -- like a ray of light to the sun. It is through grace that you are carried through the emotional storm. Be still and hold to this truth -- God is All, and it is He that comforts (strengthens) you and holds you secure on the rock. Whatever comes to you, no matter how difficult or insurmountable it appears, operates to expand your comfort zone if you turn to divine Love and focus on the Light that is God, knowing He sustains and carries you through. Even Jesus said, "I can of mine own self do nothing," but he adds that "whatsoever I see the Father do, the son doeth likewise." You are the child of God, and as His image and likeness,  you reflect and repeat the good that God is, in every action, in every word and deed (when you turn your attention to Him). You are like a ray of light that gives attention to the sun, its source, nature, substance, and real being. In this allness of Spirit where we "live, move, and have our being," all is present, there is no separation -- and this is the eternal reality. WHAT TO DO: The first 5 minutes and the last 5 minutes of your day (minimum) find a way to devote thought, heart, soul, and mind, to the Creator, our Father who loves you. Spiritualize your thought. In one week you will have turned from the tempter's despressive suggestions to a solid hour and 10 minutes of pure awareness of God's presence, power and love. Expand and include challenges, your comfort zone will expand, you will be higher and stronger, more comforted and able to better comfort others as well.

Types of Grief: Next Steps

TYPES OF GRIEF

And next steps

There are many types of grief, including disappointments in marriage, loss of career or job, a ruined reputation, passing of a loved one, failure at some endeavor -- many types of grief experienced at varying degrees and moving through diverse stages at different speeds.

As an online grief coach, I supply ideas that meet these variables; as a reader/client you choose what best fits your need and tweak it as needed. Always know that at any point you can email or call for a first free one-on-one session -- but even if not -- an outpouring of energy and support will be here for you (http://www.scripturalstudycenter.org).

Continuing from session 1, there is a great need for peace.

Etymologically, peace means "to fasten as to make stable." Only as we "fasten" our thought consciously to God, to divine Love, do we feel the security that allows for peace to begin its healing, comforting, and strengthening work in us.

More than this, more than simply fastening thought to God, Love, you are actually His own "image and likeness" (Gen. 1:26). How fastened are we to our reflection in the mirror? Just so, you are the likeness of God, expressing all that He is. God is not in sorrow or grief, but eternal bliss -- and the truth (that Jesus said makes free) is that you reflect this.

Another way to think of your oneness, being "fastened" and "stable," is to picture God as the sun, and yourself as a ray of light -- the very emanation of His being. This is the deep and eternal basis of PEACE.

1. Again, meditate for one to five minutes slowly saying or thinking the word, peace. This time picture yourself as the peaceful emanation of the Light of Him who is Peace.

2. Continue to wear your most comfortable clothes and maintain your waking and before bed routine.

3. If you have someone close, share feelings and memories, but also share your new awakenings to the power of PEACE.

"Peace, be still," Jesus commanded to still the storm on the Sea of Galilee; "Peace, be still," he commands your consciousness -- "and there was a great calm" (https://www.blueletterbible.org/search/search.cfm?Criteria=peace+be+still&t=KJV#s=s_primary_0_1).