Scope of Grief and What to Do

Scope of Grief and What to Do

We grieve all kinds of loss, not just death, but loss of job, career, home, family, friends, a car, a cherished possession, and so forth. Loss of harmony in a relationship or loss of a marriage is incredibly upsetting. Not only this, but everyone that has to do with the situation feels the impact.

We cannot take grieving off like we can take off a jacket and leave it at home. It seems to be stuck with us. Therefore we need to find ways to handle it, so it does not take over and overwhelm us to the point of debilitating hurt. In many cases, especially soon after an intense event, it is normal to find ourselves in tears or in a state of depression, but if we build a strong base  spiritually we can withstand and overcome that which would otherwise seem unbearable.

In the case of a death, moving away from emotional agony actually honors the individual who has passed and who more than likely desires that you will be "all right" and that you "recover." Giving your consent to function normally at right activities, to take care of yourself and others, and to move forward with purpose and joy again -- allowing for these things -- opens the way for recovery.

It was and is important for me to realize that my husband, who passed away ten years ago, desires that I live happy and full days with purpose. Would you not want this for ones you love? I was able to consent to recovery and begin to act more freely in everyday life by holding to this thought. Perhaps if you think about this in your own case, it will help you too. Emotions will run up and down during this process, but it is a stable base to accept and hold to the fact that we wish for happiness and well-being for those we love -- whether here or hereafter -- this truth remains because it is grounded in universal divine Love.

There are times it will be good to be left alone. There are times when screaming into a pillow is good therapy! There are times when forcing yourself to be still, pray, meditate, and calm yourself in silence, is the best. Try to align with the divine, with Spirit and Love, and feel after His direction, feel after His comforting.

These ideas work as well for loss of job, of reputation, of money, home, a friendship -- whatever it is that causes grief or upset.

One should not be alone altogether, however. We need opportunities to share memories and emotions, to share fears and hopes, to be with a positive supportive person -- friend or professional -- but someone who actually cares. Be careful that you confide only in those you feel you can trust and who are naturally positive -- not negative.

Support must continue for a long time. If you are supporting another who has suffered loss, remember to check with that individual over a period of months, and even years. Just the fact that you are there and accessible brings an element of Love that is healing and comforting.