Tired of the Pain

Emotional pain, while different than physical pain, can be excruciating. If left to run its own course it can wreak havoc on one's health and tie up the good that might otherwise be done in so many areas of life, and for an indefinite time.

When physical pain is extreme many turn to morphine or some kind of drug for relief, but there is no morphine for the crying soul. In reality, healing is needed, spiritual awakening, rather than something soporific. When one gets tired of the emotional pain, this becomes a turning point.

Often the turning point is accompanied by a redirecting of the force of the afflicting thought-patterns to an energy of philanthropy in a motive to do good to others. To help, heal, uplift, make happy, aid, support, or otherwise bless our fellow-man or other creatures on the planet, supplies recovery power to the honest giver.

What is your top area of interest? How could you envision this helping others? What could you read about or research for hours that would feel like mere moments to you? Connect with this thing.

Ask God to direct and guide you, and then stop talking! In the book of Revelation, when the 7th seal is broken, there is "silence in heaven for the space of half an hour" (8:1). Quiet your thought and listen spiritually. You can do this. Angel messages will occur. You will be guided. "Ask and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full" Jesus taught (John 16:24). Ask what the Father wants you to do to bless others out of a pure heart, and expect to receive ideas that are good. These ideas are blessed and in accord with His will. They lead to unselfish, kind, uplifting, edifying words and actions. They rebuild your life, better and higher than before. They strengthen and bless everyone.

Redirecting thought spiritually with purpose can only work good. It does not indicate that one no longer cares very deeply about a loved one who has suffered misfortune or who has passed, in fact, it honors that one. Right, loving, and good activity goes on eternally and is always blessed of our Father. You may resolve to know that all your endeavors to move forward in this productive and positive manner, all of it shows honor, respect, and love.

The most important thing is to love and honor God which means that one must express the qualities of the I AM through kindness, gratitude, diligence, unselfishness, generosity, pure thoughts, good deeds, grace, spiritual power, affection, intelligence, wisdom, and so forth. This is the nature of the divine, and the true nature of man as God's image (Gen. 1:26). Employed by these things all that you put your hand to is blessed, and all who remain in your heart are blessed.

Tired of the pain? Redirect. Ask. Listen. Act. Bless and be blessed.

Emotional Immune Mechanism

Emotional Immune Mechanism

That stubborn, won't-go-away-or-budge, person, place, or thing, that has frustrated you forever -- what can be done? Must our happiness be stolen away all the time by this thing? Please take the following ideas into consideration as they might address something in your experience, and only decide to use what is helpful to you. Each instance is unique, and one must pray for guidance.

When the person, persons, or personalities, the hurtful or disrespectful words, actions, or lack of actions, the place, the thing, or whatever offensiveness obstructs your peace and joy, have proven thus far to be a changeless thorn in your emotions -- and all your attempts to fix, modify, or alter have failed -- now might be the time to let your emotional immune mechanism kick in.

What is this? It's a kind of survival, self-preservation strategy or action to defend your harmony and happiness. When a tough challenge confronts our mentality day after day, stealing our joy, we can often stretch our comfort zones and include it in a harmonious way. Often whatever the thorny thing is, it changes as we pray or think about it differently, so things adjust. However, you may have something like an indissoluble barbed piece of titanium that won't change or go away. Possibly you still have to include it in your life, sometimes daily, sometimes very closely. 

Then the question may be posed, what will you do with your own self about this? Will you continue to be upset, frustrated, angry, grumbly, fearful -- unhappy? Or will you decide on your own inner peace? Either way, the prickly nuisance or frustration stays the same. If you cannot change it, you can change you. Here is where the emotional immune mechanism kicks in. Think of the problem as a cell that has some element of destructiveness (destroying your peace and joy), and your comfort zone or response to all things that come to your attention, as the body surrounding and including that uneasy cell. You can't eject it or change it at the moment and it hurts. Therefore, surround the thing in a protective barrier mentally. Isolate it in an emotional coating that prevents its disturbing qualities from contaminating your day by day experience. Let it be confined and harmless to you. You are not that other person, group, place, or thing. You are not doing the hurtful act or saying the abusive words. Decide to maintain your peacefulness and harmonious life despite the presence of the annoyance. 

One mother's experience included several children who for years simply would not pick up after themselves. No strategy, no tactic, no words, penalties, threats, bribes, reasoning, or promises made the situation budge. She seemed up against an immovable obstruction to her peace and happiness. Realizing that she did have power to change her own thought and be in control of her own emotional state for peace and joy, she employed this emotional immune mechanism to maintain her health and harmony. The areas of the home where she lived, she simply kept clean because that is what she requires and thrives in -- doors to other rooms can be shut. This is the temporary fix. This is an excellent example of maintaining one's inner peace and happiness while working on a higher solution -- see 'what to do' below. 

What we have here is like a necessary bandage to handle a sustained misery-producing thing that is stubborn. The real remedy, that which will bring true adjustment for good, will lie in our determination to know spiritual truth and consent to see the joy-stealing 'cell' from God's eye-view where everything is "very good." 

Wrap the stubborn frustrating thing in a sack of immunity where it cannot hurt you, while you maintain your peace. It can be done. It is the thing you have control over. The sacked frustration thorn cannot truly affect you now. Most importantly, begin a special journal or document to gather ideas to pray with that address the issue directly. Let the divine Intelligence guide you through His Word and lift your thoughts to the spiritual and real. The basis of this work is the fact that God is good and man is His "image" (Gen. 1:26). When something opposite of good is occurring and encroaching upon your joy, it needs to be challenged by this truth. Man's true nature is the reflection of God's nature which includes every quality of good -- love, kindness, gentleness, right action, energy, logic, understanding, thoughtfulness, peace, and so forth. Declare for the opposite of that which seems annoying or hateful. 

WHAT TO DO. Begin a HEALING AND ADJUSTMENT JOURNAL.

STEP ONE for this Healing and Adjustment Journal, create two different lists of words. One list will include words that describe the problem (stubborn, ornery, lazy, mean, abusive, unforgiving, judgmental, critical, accusatory, defensive, spendthrift -- whatever is included in the (so far) unyielding joy-stealer you are now isolating with your emotional immune mechanism. Next, in another list, write all the words that are opposite these negative ones.

It is much easier and more complete if you use a thesaurus (if online go to thesaurus.com) or a dictionary, or both. This activity is the first thing you do for the journal in getting thought into a position of grace from God to directly affect the situation for good, for healing.

STEP TWO. Find verses in the Scriptures containing the words you have written in your journal, and write these on the next pages (however you decide to organize). BEGIN with the first word and its opposite. I have sometimes written a dictionary definition of each as a starter just to get thought moving. Find the words in the Bible (concordance or online search). Write the verses by the words and their definitions. PRAY with the concepts. Let your thought take the ideas or instructions given, and apply them to the disturbance right within your own thought. Consent for change of thought on your own part -- this you can do. The power of this prayer will bring adjustment to your situation in God's own way. Be patient. Give gratitude for any little sign of improvement. Do this consistently and things will adjust harmoniously through the divine power, the Love that loves you.

OPTIONAL. Put a brief note or phrase containing the main spiritual ideas from your journal into your pocket or wallet. Refer to as needed during the day. Keep the right ideas, the hope, the light, the truth in the front of your thought. This will no doubt feel difficult when the harsh or distressing person, place, or thing acts out before you again  -- but meet it silently with your higher spiritualized thought and it will yield as God's grace is acknowledged as present and all-powerful. Jesus said that we would know the truth -- the omnipotence of Good and man in His image -- and it would free us. It is our right as God's children to live in peace and be safe. 

OPTIONAL. After completing an exhaustive research, study, and application of the specific words or concepts needed to address your issue, you may wish to add a supplement with terms such as joy, sorrow, gladness, sad or sadness, happy, happiness, sighing, crying, tears, and so forth.

Isaiah 35:10 reassures us, "And the ransomed of the LORD shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away."

10 out of 10 frustration day?

What if you are having a day where your stress, grief, anger, fear, or frustration level feel nearly at a 10 out of 10? Move slowly. Do not make decisions, especially big ones. 

If you are reading this, you are most likely calmed to a lower number on that scale of 1 to 10, otherwise it would be almost impossible to even consider reading this or taking in any positive help by any means. That's the good news for the moment. 

Any mental or emotional state close to frozen fear, pit of mourning, or blind rage is toxic for the one stuck (temporarily) in this state, and even if held in, it is devastating for anyone around that individual. If it comes upon you, for whatever reason, prepare ahead as for an oncoming hurricane. For those live, or have lived, in hurricane territory, you know you must bring any that could become a flying projectile into the house or it becomes an instrument of destruction. Just so, in a temporarily severe emotional seizure, bring all loose, or unresolved, issues, questions, grievances, annoyances, and so forth -- into a place where they can't fly or strike anyone for the moment. Accusations and sarcastic remarks are missile projections launched from that which is normally balanced and nice, when the mental state approximates violent weather. If possible, put distance between yourself and others for a space of time. Spit everything out where there is no listening ear, or write it in a secret place where no one will have an opportunity to read it. Get it out. 

When the hurricane of emotion passes, and it will, two things may occur. You will be left feeling prostrate before God and in the perfect state of humility and meekness to ask for help and receive it. That intense grief, anger, fear, or frustration, is and was never truly part of you, it is/was like you were caught in a violent storm that is now past. Remember that the Scripture says, "God is of purer eyes than to behold evil" (Hab. 1:13). God sees all and always sees everything "very good" (Gen. 1:31). You would not feel guilty over a hurricane that passed over you, and you should not hold yourself in identification with intense sadness, depression, hate, or anger, either. The Scripture explains, "He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still" (Ps. 107:29). God calms and comforts consciousness, and there is no way to escape His Love or be separated from it even for a moment,  no matter how bad we might feel.

If you have experienced a tidal wave of emotion exceedingly overwhelming, and you are reading this, you are in both recovery time and preparatory time. Do not waste more precious moments by feeling guilty or in self-condemnation. The storm is past. The only thing that is really a part of you, that which is your forever true nature, is the goodness and love that you reflect of God as His "image" and likeness (Gen. 1:26). The negative emotions and thoughts wash off like mud that was never a real part of you. Let it go. Prepare ahead to weather any such onslaughts and they will cease or at least be less severe. I recommend a Journal. 

Begin, or continue in, or pick back up -- a journal. You might want a locked one! In Grief Coaching, I recommend a gratitude-kindness journal. In the case of preparing for possible hurricane emotions, your journal should include the occasional page where you spill and spit out what you hate, what is so upsetting. Later, go back and look over the issues that need to be addressed and pray for help from the Father. The ones that appear unresolvable and upsetting, these you will especially lay at the feet of divine Love. "I'm putting these things here because I have no control over them, and I really need Your help." Then leave them there at the feet of the Christ. The I AM that is all Love will move upon these things with His Law of harmony and there will be adjustment. You are not stuck. Nothing bad has power to resist the omnipotence of God, Good. Put your worries, fears, and frustrations down before the infinite One who loves you and cares for you, then listen for guidance, for He will send His angel-messages right to your thought. Watch things change and give thanks for every bit of evidence toward right adjustment. 

These angel-messages and changes for good are things you would write in your journal in the gratitude section. If you missed the blog about how to do the Gratitude-Kindness Journal, it is basically to take a few minutes each night, or morning, and write several things you are grateful for from that day (or previous day if you cannot do this until he morning), and several ways that you expressed or observed kindness. This is normally a before-you-go-to-sleep routine. The morning routine I recommend takes just 5 minutes as well. Plan some way to spiritualize your thought for the first 5 minutes that you are awake. Here are some ideas: open your Bible after a quick prayer for guidance and read; mentally (or audibly) sing a hymn and pray with the ideas in it (you might have a hymnal or something online or printed out ahead of time); listen to calming, spiritual music; take notes or annotate an ongoing Bible study; and always conclude by asking God what He would have you do for Him today. 

Help for Healthy Grieving

It is natural to wake up and look forward to your day, rather than be in dread. There is such a thing as healthy grieving, but grief that debilitates and extends over a long period time needs to be addressed deeply. A Grief Coach is trained and experienced to aid individuals specifically. This blog offers ideas, insights, and questions that will definitely help, but seek one-on-one sessions for best progress and results.

Consider turning grieving into something meaningful that honors or that would please a loved one who has passed on. Think of the good you could accomplish with focus, motivation, and energy. Are you ready to ease the pain and embark on some positive changes? Doing so does not mean you love less -- it may, in fact, indicate an increase of love.

The questions are, what would your loved one have you do? What would be pleasing? Most importantly, above all else, what would God have you do? What would be most pleasing to Him? May I recommend that you simply ask in prayer with an honest and open heart? It's good to do this right before going to sleep at night. Often you will awaken with some kind of answer or intuition, or it will suddenly occur to you during the day.

Grieving does not only belong to those who have had loved ones pass on, it accompanies many other events in life. We grieve loss of independence, loss of a job, loss of a home, loss of "face" or reputation, predicaments our children have gotten into, and more. But the DNA of our Spirit is resilient and kicks in at some point to rescue and relieve, to lift us up and cause us to move forward.

Grief is not felt in isolation either. Everyone involved feels it to some extent. It is best to deliberately work through the process, and ongoing support is a must. Know that I am here for you, even if only in blog. However, our Father, infinite Love is truly present with you, around you, and through you, every moment for all of eternity. The Scriptures say, "Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you" (James 4:8).

Goal: Move Forward with Purpose

Set a goal to move forward with purpose. We cannot go back in time, we are simply always in the present, but we can plan for the future prayerfully as God directs. If the past has good that we miss, let's honor that good in this present moment and have gratitude. If there are things we regret, let's wring out the lessons and wash clean in this present moment. Let's consent to go forward as divine Love directs. "Wash you, make you clean," says the prophet Isaiah.

When the Spirit leads you in setting a goal, you will be successful in reaching it, and energized, benefited, and blessed in the process.

What is a "goal?' The earliest use of the word according to Arcade Dictionary of Word Origins, occurred in the first part of the 1500's. It indicated the "finishing line of a race" as well as the "posts through which the ball is sent in football." Paul writes, "... let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, ..." (Romans 12:1). A goal is specific and measurable. It needs to be clearly defined. It needs to be time-specific -- a projected end date. We must think deeply about values when setting a goal, but most important, we must pray -- ask and listen. 

 A Spirit-led goal will include elements of unselfishness, philanthropy, and nurturing, and it will include elements that make you stretch, that force spiritual development, that exercise spiritual gifts that you may not realize you even have. It is important to have a goal in order to move forward with stability and purpose, and it must be one that is "win-win" and not injurious to anyone.

We are each given "talents" by our Creator, and often our special talent or gift produces a kind of good excitement within us. We are passionate about it. What is your passion? What could you happily spend hours and hours doing, reading about, practicing, studying or improving upon? How might you develop this to be of most benefit to others? It will surely turn back to bless you a hundredfold.

Take some time with these questions. Begin with prayer. Ask divine Love to lead your thought and make you discern His angel messages. Ask for increased spiritual intuition. You may have more than one passion -- let Spirit point out that which is in accord with His will for your life. Begin working in that direction. You will fly on the wings of divine Love when you move in accord with Him plan, and it is a joy.

If you do not yet have some kind of personal Journal, please get one right away. Dedicate a page to the above questions. Write them down. Then freely write all that comes to you in response. Let is rest for a day. Then go back prayerfully and read what you have written. Cross out and/or highlight; edit, add or delete. At this point you may realize at least one goal, even a small one that will lead you in a productive direction. Write it in large beautiful writing. If you don't have it yet, take another day and repeat the above steps. Stay close with the prayerful petitions listed as springboards to your heart-to-heart conversation with God. Talk to God, and then remember to listen! Angel messages and intuitions will come to your consciousness clearly.

A goal may be small and short-term. It may be a "baby-step." That's all right. Do that. A goal may be pretty big and take some time. Think out the steps. What will it take to reach that goal? Step by step divine Intelligence will direct you and keep you safe. If you have a big goal, work it through in your Journal on another page. It is similar to planning a long trip. You know the destination and then plan stops along the way. What will it take to reach your goal? List the unselfish and beneficial things that will occur when you accomplish your purpose in accord with Love's will.

If you go on a drive, you must know the destination, otherwise you will wander aimlessly, be confused, and be stressed or scared. Since we continuously move forward through eternity, we need to be aware of our destination, set goals to accomplish, and thus progress in accord with the Father's plan. This is the way that is secure. The I AM is always present with you, and innumerable angels surround and care for you, crowning your right actions with success. When divine Love gives you the goal, it enables its accomplishment.

Moving from one place to another brings change. It's okay. Change is inevitable, but we can embrace it as a discovery of more of the infinitude of the All-in-all, the Eternal One. Turn the stress over to the Father and take His gentleness to your heart instead. Lay your burden at His feet. You are held in His hand safe. He carries you forward. You are blessed and others benefited and helped as well. Redirect mourning into a brighter morning each day. In Zephaniah we are assured, "The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing" (3:17).